The concept of “face” in Asian cultures can be a source of endless wonder for Westerners coming to live here. Recently a local friend and I took some people out for a meal and coffee to thank them for helping me when I had traveled to their province. He knew one of them already, so he called and asked if they could help me out when I made my trip. They did, and then when they were passing through our city it was a good gesture to take them out and thank them. I get that, so far so good.
The interesting part for me came at the end of the meal when we got the bill. He had called for the check so the waitress brought it to him. I pulled out my wallet so I could contribute. Actually, I had come to the evening prepared to pay for everything, since he had also been helping me out. I asked for the check so I could pay for it all, but he wasn’t having that, so I started asking if I could contribute and for him to let me see it so I could chip in, etc. He wouldn’t even let me see it.
We went across the street for some coffee and to talk for a while longer. When we were finishing up I told him to let me get this one (not a fair trade, but at least let me take care of one of the checks!). He refused again and went and paid the whole thing himself.
As we stepped outside we got a taxi for our friends and sent them on their way. Then, as we crossed the street to get back to where we had parked he told me, “I’ll let you know the total of both bills and you can pay me back half of it this week.”
Aaah, now I get it. He needed for them to see that he was treating us all. Well, sorry I protested and tried so hard to chip in, but it probably helped firm up the appearance that he was taking care of all of us. I wondered about all that was taking place beneath the surface here:
· Was it more a case of him not wanting to be shamed by letting me pay,
· Was it standard operating procedure that because he made the invitation he was responsible to pay,
· Was this a “debt” that he owed them for helping me out on my trip and he had to do this to settle accounts,
· Was this going above and beyond the “debt” that he owed them so that now the debt had shifted and they might even owe him, so that he could call in another favor sometime…
It was mildly frustrating at first, but the more I thought about the more I simply became entertained by it and intrigued about the way life works here.
Filed under: prayer, testimonies, Uncategorized, worldview | Tags: Prayer, testimonies, worldview
N was excited when he found out we were believers, because he had questions. He had noticed that Christians seemed to have true happiness and treated each other better than most people. This had made him very curious, a genuine seeker. He had never been to church and didn’t speak any English, so his searching was limited to what he could find online in his own language, which wasn’t too much. He had found some websites, though, and had been reading and even listening to some sermons. Here’s how some of the conversation went.
“Where does someone have to go in order to believe in Jesus?” he asked.
“Nowhere,” I told him, “There are no sacred spots or buildings, no temples or places more holy than others.”
“What about church?” I thought he was ask this, and I was glad he did, so I could try to explain that you don’t have to be in a church to begin following Jesus, but that church is a gathering of people who follow Jesus to be together, encourage each other, worship him together, learn about him, etc.
“What does it mean to believe in Jesus? How can God help me?”
“Well, many ways, but most importantly by forgiving our sins. All of us have sin in our lives and we are unable to do anything about it. No amount of good deeds can take away or lessen our bad. That’s why Jesus came to die for us.”
“Jesus died for everyone?”
“Yes, everyone.”
“Not just the Jews?”
“No. Everyone.”
“Then who are the Jews?”
“That’s gonna take some time to explain…”
“How can I know more about Jesus?”
“Read the Bible.”
“The whole thing? It’s huge!”
“Well, start with the gospels – they are 4 books about Jesus’ life that were written soon after his death and resurrection. They are named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.”
“You mean that’s what it means when the preacher says Matthew 22:37? What’s the 22 and the 37 mean? ” (I don’t actually remember what passage he asked about.)
I went on to explain chapters and verses, and remembered when I was confused about the chapter – colon – verse thing.
Before long we were out of time and I had to wrap up the conversation. We exchanged names for the first time in the conversation and exchanged contact info and that was it.
I was thankful for the opportunity to share with him, excited about the seeds that had already been planted in his heart, and saddened by the fact that I didn’t have much time that day and was leaving the country just a few days later. I connected him with friends and have prayed that he would remain open to the work that the Holy Spirit is doing in his life.
What is most exhilarating to me about this experience was that it was sparked by the witness of someone else, who will never know the power of their lived-out testimony before N and many others. It was a real example of John 13:35 and 1 Peter 3:15, two verses that we should pray will become a more consistent experience in our lives.
A minority man working in a remote part of his country was appalled to see young children of poor families running around the villages unclothed. Up in the mountains it can be very cold in the winter months (less than 50°). So he and his co-workers decided to collect clothes to distribute to the poor. When they went to the village headman to ask permission to give out the clothing to the poorest families, the response was “Why would you want to do that? The poor are social parasites and useless to society.”
The predominant Buddhist-Animist worldview in the country creates little incentive for helping the poor. According to their understanding of Buddhism people are poor, sick or come upon hard times because of bad karma – they did something bad in this life or a previous life and are now reaping the consequences of their wrong actions. Most of the tribal groups in the country are animists (i.e. they believe that everything in life is controlled by good and bad spirits). For them sickness or poverty is a result of offending the spirits and so the answer is to make offerings to appease the spirits.
The church will have to both teach and model a Biblical worldview regarding poverty and suffering. May God so transform their way of thinking that Christians will love and care for the poor unconditionally, just as He does.
